Who did Billy Mays play for?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
