How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
