Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
