belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize