I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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