it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
