I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
