Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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