I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
well you can't waste a boner
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
