she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
