I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
