break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
