You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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