I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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