Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
