we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
