We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
