dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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