she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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