I wanna passion pit in your ass
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
