Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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