I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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