And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
