Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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