you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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