Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
