Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize