what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
