I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
