you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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