just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
