Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
