i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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