he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize