I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
