Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize