i barfeds in our rink
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
