Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
