You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
