It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
