I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
