the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
