He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
