she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
