Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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