I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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