is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
