When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
