I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
