I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
