it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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