I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
