I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
