i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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