i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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