Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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