totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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