Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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