i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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