U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
