don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
