Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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